How to become a GOOD LISTENER

Listening is an art most of us are not gifted with.

Becoming a good listener is a superpower in today’s world, where most of us want only our ideas to be appalled and heard.

A good listener always has good quality relations and their company is valued by all.

When you become a good listener, it brings tons of benefits for you. Below I have listed just a few of the simple benefits enjoyed by a good listener.

• They are always wanted and people are attracted to them.
  
• They develop meaningful and deep relations.
  
• They naturally become empathetic beings.
  
• They have better insight and understanding of things and situations.
  
• They become more knowledgeable with time.
  
• They are better at resolving conflicts.
  

Becoming a good listener is vital for improving and enhancing your relationships.

Thankfully listening skills are not a born talent but can be learnt and acquired.

Some of the simple ways you can use in your day-to-day life to become a good listener are as listed below

Tips to UPSCALE your listening skill

1. CREATE a safe and comfortable space for the speaker

The first step to becoming a good listener is to create a safe and comfortable space for people to share their feelings.

If you sense that your friend or family member is feeling troubled, it is your responsibility to listen to them.

Ensure that they feel safe to share the vulnerable side of them.

You can try saying things like “Are you doing fine? You seem a bit upset. We can go grab lunch if you want.”

Here, you not pressuring them to go out with you, but at the same time, you are letting them know that you are available for them.

2. DROP the judgment, ELEVATE your listening game!

There are so many people in this world, yet we share our most embarrassing stories and our heartfelt moments with a select few. Why is it so?

It is because these people listen to us without judgment.

They do not judge our insecurities or our vulnerability.

Quit being the judge and jury.

When you listen to someone without judgment, they feel safe to let loose and confide in you.

Listening without judgment not only helps you become a good listener but also a good friend.

Becoming a better listener is also one of the vital ways of how you can improve relationship with your partner.

3. A good listener always MAKES eye-contact

How would you feel if you were sharing your feelings or an incident with someone and they were busy looking here and there? Not very great. Right?

Make it a habit of having eye contact in a conversation. Do not look too hard or too long as it may create an awkward or intimidating atmosphere.

Remember to look away from your side from time to time but continue to look into their eyes at short intervals.

Try to look at them with eyes of empathy.

4. To become a good listener REFRAIN from interrupting others

Do not interrupt the flow of the conversation.

It is natural to have multiple thoughts and opinions come to your mind when you hear the other person talk and share about certain things.

You may have gone through the same situation that they are going through.

As tempting as it may be, try to avoid putting your thoughts and opinions forward.

Don’t make every conversation about yourself.

Make them the priority this time and give suggestions only when asked for.

5. BE mindful of their body language to become a good listener

Facial expressions and body language can give as much information as verbal words.

Pay attention to their body language along with their words.

You can get so much information about their feeling just by looking at their body language.

Observe if they are fidgety, excited, or sad while narrating their story.

6. Be mindful of YOUR body language as well to become a better listener

You can make a person feel welcomed and comfortable through your body language.

Sometimes your body language suggests that you are not interested in the conversation even if that may not be the case.

So, it is always better to be mindful of your posture and gestures

A good listener can make the other person feel valued and loved through these non-verbal cues.

• They maintain eye contact
  
• They do not cross their arms.
  
• They smile when it is appropriate.
  
• They nod their head to show that they are engaged in the conversation.
  
• They avoid unnecessary movement.
  
• They avoid looking at their watch while the other person is talking.

7. Cut out DISTRACTIONS to sharpen your listening skills

Remove distractions from the place where you are having a conversation.

Avoid using the phone or watching television when you are talking to someone. This is such a turn-off.

I have often seen people busy scrolling through their phones even when they have a real person sitting and talking in front of them.

I hate this and make it a point to put my phone away whenever I am talking to anyone.

8. Enhance your listening skill by EMBRACING empathy

When listening to someone’s story, try and keep yourself in their shoes. Understand the story from their perspective.

Make it an effort to understand where they are coming from or where their feelings are coming from.

Keep an open mind and see things from their eyes.

Only when you do this will you be able to make them feel understood and you will be on the same page as they are.

9. Become a better listener by knowing when to ASK questions

Becoming a better listener does not imply that you should stay mum and only listen.

You can ask questions whenever you feel like you have not understood something that they have shared.

Ask clarifying questions. Asking questions suggests that you are paying attention to what they are saying.

It makes the other person feel that they have your attention.

If you are confused whether you have understood them correctly you can try and ask “Are you saying this? Here is what I have understood. Were you trying to say the same?”

10. Remember to PRACTICE self-care to become an awesome listener

Lastly, to become a good listener you should be in a good state of mind yourself.

“ Help yourself so that you can help others. “

If you yourself are not in a good state of mind you will not have the patience to listen to others.

Taking care and feeling good about yourself is vital if you want to become a good listener.

You can practice journaling, meditation, reading, and some physical exercises to keep yourself in good shape and mindset.

If you feel that you are the type of person who does not have time to spare on elaborate self-care routines, you can check SIMPLE DOABLE self-care habits that will change your life.

MASTERING the art of listening is a multifaceted journey.

It involves cultivating empathy, minimizing distractions, knowing when to ask questions, and prioritizing self-care.

By embracing these principles, we not only become better listeners but also foster deeper connections and understanding in our relationships.

So, let’s commit to honing our listening skills, for in doing so, we enrich both our own lives and the lives of those around us.

This is all for this post on How to improve your listening skills.

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