HOW TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER
“After our birth in the physical state, our main source of learning is through relationships. Through the joy and pain of interaction with other people, we progress on our spiritual paths in order to learn about love from all directions.”
Dr. Brian Weiss
Being born as a human is one of the greatest privileges bestowed on a living being. As humans, we get to understand and experience various forms of relationships.
The relationships with our family members, friends, colleagues, lovers, and ourselves determine the quality of our lives to a large extent.
Many studies have also found that the secret to longevity lies in the quality of your relationships.
Contrary to popular belief, the secret to a healthy and happy life does not lie in successful careers, money, or anything materialistic. It lies in the quality of your relationships
I am not saying that your goals and ambitions are futile and have no role in your happiness. Your financial status and achievement are also a major portion of your life.
But ultimately, true happiness comes from selfless bonding and companionship.
Why improve relationship with your partner
Hello dear reader, my name is Nirupama Basnet. I am 29 years old and I live in a small town in India called Kalimpong.
When I look back at 29 years of my life I can see that in some phases I have bloomed while in others not so much.
But one thing is common in the years that I have bloomed. I was surrounded by a good set of people in those years.
I had a good relationship with my lover, a healthy set of friendships, and a good set of colleagues, etc.
It is in those years that I have been the happiest and also have made remarkable progress.
I am the kind of person who easily gets affected by my social connections.
The quality of my relationship has a humongous impact on my overall well-being.
For some years in the past my relationship with my close ones had become sour or let us just say I had lost touch with them.
I tried to figure out what had gone wrong. Based on my introspection I tried out certain things to improve my relationship and it worked.
Now, I try and use those techniques in my daily life and it has made a big difference in the quality of my relationship.
There are various forms of relationships that we can talk about but in this blog post, I would like to share a few secrets on how to build a healthy relationship with your partner/lover.
TIPS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. COMMUNICATION is the key to improve relationship
We so often get all tangled up in our personal lives that we fail to communicate with our partners.
Having so many tasks to complete and targets to achieve, we neglect the most simple aspect of a healthy relationship i.e., communication.
Just sharing about the rhythm of your day with your partner can make a huge difference.
Things you can do to communicate better
- Set aside some time in your day just to talk with your partner. Do nothing else but communicate during this time.
Look into each other’s eyes as you share about your day or any thoughts in general.
It is very much possible that you do not have a quality talk with your partner because you have not set a particular time to do so
- Keep your phone away while talking to your partner.
I have witnessed quite a few relationships where the boy is busy playing video games on dates.
Also, sometimes it is the girl who is busy on her phone while her partner just tags along. Don’t be those couples.
Keep your phone away while you are conversing with your loved ones. It makes them feel important and loved. Respect their time and spend it wisely.
- In case you are talking over the phone, keep all your chores aside. Just simply sit in one place while talking and ask your partner to do the same.
Do not keep yourself occupied scrolling through Instagram or online shopping while speaking to your partner using earphones.
That is the quickest way to deteriorate your relationship.
2. Active listening develops understanding between you and your partner
When it comes to having a conversation, just talking about yourself is not enough.
Listening to your partner share their thoughts is one of the most beautiful ways to show your love to them.
When you are having a conversation with your partner try to actively listen to what he/she has to share.
So often we spend hours talking without actually listening.
Actively listening to your partner not only makes them feel valued but also helps you love and understand them more.
This is very important step that will help you improve relationship with your partner.
Steps you can take to become an active listener
- I would again encourage you to keep your phone or any work aside when your partner is sharing his/her day with you.
Do not hear them out just for the sake of it but try and enjoy their stories.
Get involved in their narration and listen to them like it is the most interesting tale you are listening to.
Listening to your partner is as important as sharing your stories with them.
- As I often say, “You create a whole new world for someone just by letting them into your thoughts.”
In this case, your partner creates a new world for you by letting you into their thoughts.
Explore it and enjoy the experience to the fullest just by the simple act of listening actively.
- Pay attention to their body language when they speak.
Body language and facial expressions can tell you as much as what is being said in words.
You can see your partner’s eyes light up at times or how they become fidgety and uncomfortable while talking over certain topics.
PS: My partner observed that I react irrationally when we discuss finances.
He tries to be as kind as possible when he talks to me on that topic.
I too have started to build a better relationship with my finances all thanks to his insight.
3. Be a good LISTENER
When you listen to your partner speak, you may often feel the urge to put your opinions out.
Sometimes it so happens that we are so ready with our pieces of advice or opinions that our conversation takes a U-turn and turns into a fight.
To avoid this, you must be a good listener first
Some small steps that will help you become a good listener
- Listen to your partner without judgment.
In this world which is already so full of judges and my lords try to be a lawyer for your partner.
As humans, we have various moods and sides to us. It is only natural for our partner not to always be in a happy and positive state of mind.
When they share a darker, vulnerable, or negative side of themselves, do not be quick to jump to conclusions. Listen to them without any judgment whatsoever.
More than often they are just letting their thoughts out to you. They are not looking for any advice or suggestions from you.
They are just simply letting it all out and all we have to do is listen to them with empathy and love. If they are angry with someone become angry with them, if they are bi*****g about someone b***h along with them.
Create a safe space for your partner where they can share their feelings without the fear of being judged.
Offer them advice only when they ask you for it. Also, remember to be kind and nurturing while you give your advice
- Have eye contact with them when they speak. Don’t look here and there or be distracted. Give your full attention to them.
- Do not interrupt their flow. When your partner is sharing a story or a moment with you do not interrupt them. This will break their emotional flow and could be a major turn-off.
You can also check simple steps you can take to become a good listener
4. Do FUN things TOGETHER to improve relationship with your partner
It is so important to spend some quality time with your partner to keep your relationship healthy and thriving.
When we share an experience with our partner, we make new memories to cherish over some time. Deliberately make time for some activities to do together with your lover.
List of some fun activities you can do as a couple
- Watch a movie together. I personally love this activity. I love how my partner has something to say about various scenarios in the movie. It adds a different spice to my movie-watching experience.
- Go for walks, and hikes to a new place. Ah! What a joy to be able to walk with your loved one hand in hand on a beautiful day.
- Cook a meal together. Sharing the workload and doing some creative activities such as cooking is a win-win situation. Along with getting your work done, you also get to spend time with your partner and experience something together.
- Plan a picnic. Go on a date to a park or by the riverside. Spending some time together outside in nature can nurture your soul and set both of you in a positive mood.
- Play games together. You could indulge in physical games to avoid video game addiction. Badminton, hide and seek, and ludo are just some of the games that you can try. Let the child in you come out and enjoy the little joys of life.
- Sing karaoke or learn a new song together. You can also enjoy a good dance session where you can show each other your goofiest and sexiest moves.
- Learn a new skill together. There are many courses that you could take up as a couple. You could take dance classes, cooking classes, or yoga classes. You could even learn a new language together.
4. Take care of YOURSELF in order to improve relationship with your partner
It is only by taking care of ourselves that we become capable of taking care of others.
When we are always down, worried, or in a negative state of mind it reflects on our relationship.
We see our partner as incompetent. We complain about them when it is we who are unhappy.
This quickly turns into a toxic relationship.
You cannot have a healthy relationship with anyone unless you have one with yourself.
You need to be kind and loving with yourself.
Treat yourself like you would treat your most loved person. Gently and kindly.
You cannot depend on your partner to keep you happy all the time.
It is not his/her job to do so. And also, no one can keep a person happy all the time.
Your happiness should come from you. And you both can share this happiness to make it even more joyous.
How to gently take care of yourself
- Do something that you like every day. Make it a habit to indulge in activities that enrich your soul. Not for anyone else’s happiness but yours.
- Indulge in self-care activities to balance out your stress and keep yourself healthy. A healthy mind and a healthy body is the key to a happy life. You may also like self-care habits that upgrade your life.
- Focus on your self-growth and also your ambitions. Loving someone does not mean that you dedicate your entire life to them and put your life aside. You need to work on your goals and ambitions too to stay happy.
6. SHOWING love to your partner can help you improve your relationship
So often we get so caught up in our daily activities that we forget to show how much we love our partner.
Though you may have a lot of love in your heart, it is of no use if it does not reach your partner. So make sure to do small acts that show your love towards them.
Everybody needs a reminder from time to time.
Making your partner feel loved will not only make you happy but will also bring more love in your direction.
It will improve your relationship.
Simple ways you can show your love to your partner
- Be generous. You don’t have to have a lot of money to be generous.
You can be generous with your compliments for each other. Give random hugs and kisses. A small but thoughtful gift can take you a long way.
- Be kind to them always. Always be kind and gentle towards them.
I sometimes tell my boyfriend that I will treat him like an “egg” and keep him safe. I do all the planning for the day on some dates, and most of the time it is he who does it.
I love being pampered by him and so does he.
- Respect each other.
Love is one thing but respect is a game-changer.
Respect your partner for who he/she is. Respect the way they handle themselves in the time of crisis. Respect the efforts that they put out silently.
When your partner feels respected in a relationship, he/she will be more secure and will be able to put their best foot forward.
You will help your partner in their self-growth by giving them respect in your relationship.
That is all for this post. If you would like to read more about relationships and simple living you can check out some of my posts below.
